When Depression Gets Real ❤

Recently, I posted a video on my YouTube discussing the depression I faced after losing four jobs back to back and being forced to take a semester off of school. Now that I am out of that slump, I am ready to talk.

*inserts favorite quote

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” – Maya Angelou

First, stop telling people who are depressed to just stop being lazy and think happy!!!

This is real life, not sesame street. The sad thing about being depression is that nobody completely understands how it manifests within your body, mind, and soul. From the outside looking in, you are just a lazy person who keeps making excuses for yourself. However, there is so much more to the story because from the inside looking out, you are misunderstood, lonely, broken, sad, demotivated, bitter, unhappy, and most noticeable of all — stagnant. No BS, depression has the power to rob you of life even though you are still breathing.

By no means am I exaggerating. For me, depression manifested into ALL of my relationships. On one hand, I started moving away from my family because I felt like they were introducing me to MORE negativity, and I could only process how much was already inside of me. Yet, on the other hand, I was going out more with friends, drinking more, and “living the life.” “Living the life” basically means I was engaging in self-destructive behaviors such as drinking to much and going places where I didn’t belong. While I was at home, I could barely get out the bed to eat or shower. However, on the weekends, I had all the energy to go any and everywhere.

The mind and the heart are tricky. When you’re depressed, your mind tells you that you have failed and your heart keeps reminding you, over and over again, how bad it hurts.

However, I see pain differently and I can admit that sometimes I can overindulge in it. Crying has always been a super power of mines because after I cry there is always a hold on me that is released. Each time I cry my pain loses power, my reality becomes more clear, and my body slowly begins to heal it self. Also, I engage in powerful prayers. When I break down, I BREAK DOWN. There’s nothing cute about reaching your break point, but there is so much glory in defeating depression through intense prayer, manifestations, and faith.

MY STRATEGY FOR KICKING DEPRESSION’S BUTT:

Do what ever you have to do to feel better. Read self-help books, watch motivational videos,

listen to inspirational podcasts, and download a guided meditation app (meditations where someone talks you through the process of meditating). Also, remove anything or anyone that is bringing you down. If that is not possible, become so indulge with researching, reading, meditating your way out that you barely even have time to acknowledge their presence.

P.S. Do that thing that’s been giving you anxiety because you haven’t done it yet. One completed goal a day can take the pain away.

Love life!

-Z

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